Sometimes its a Fight to Keep your Faith

Hard times come and go.  The storms pass through.  Sometimes it seems like we are drowning and have nowhere to turn, and no one to save us.  We are told that everything will work out for our good (Romans 8) but how often do we live as though we do not believe this?  How often do we lose our faith in God’s promises to bring us a future with Hope (Jeremiah 29:11)?  When you are going through a storm, and there seems no way out you have two choices.  You can run to God or run away from God. 

                Running to God means that you put your faith in Him.  You believe the promises that he has made, and although you may have to remind yourself, you live your life that way.  You continue to pray, even if people tell you that it is useless.  You grasp to faith because it’s all that you have left, and although you know regardless you do not have control of the situation, you know someone does. 

                Faith in God doesn’t mean that you aren’t scared, hurt, or broken.  It means that you are willing to look past that to a merciful God who is ready to comfort you.  Faith in God also doesn’t mean you have to like the situation, you just trust that somehow, someway, it will work out.

                Your other option is to run away from God.  You can decide to handle everything on your own.  You can decide that you can do things yourself, and you can accept control over yourself.  For some reason this seems to be the more traveled option, even though it is the worse situation.  You are putting more pressure on yourself then you are ever meant to carry.  Running from God separates you from the one who created you, and while God really does still have control, he will allow you to try and take on the responsibility that has always been his.

                People do not like to see themselves as helpless.  We live in a society that pursues self- sufficiency and there are a million self-help books out on the shelf for whoever desires them.  But when we come to accept that God is King and has everything under control, we can relieve the pressure that has building up inside of us.

                Faith can be a battle.  No one likes to be in a storm.  Life will teach you lessons you never wanted to learn, and usually, they are not taught in a nice way.  You will stumble and fall.  You will be walked on, cheated, maybe even abused or killed.  We live in a fallen world, but God wants to redeem everyone from their sins, we just have to choose to fight for our faith. 

A Vulnerable Heart

   

"My child, where is your vulnerable heart?"  I heard God whisper to me late one night as I cried, wishing I could fall asleep.  I was going through a really hard time, wishing that the situation had never taken place.  I felt I couldn't let anyone know I was hurting, despite my heart crying for someone to hold me close.
     This was a lesson that God had been working on with me for a couple months now.  I had met some people at my college group I was attending, and I was to the point where I started craving friendship again, despite the fact that I had been hurt so much in my past.
     I didn't understand what a vulnerable heart meant at first.  I would go back to scripture that said guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), and that is exactly what I intended to do, because I did not want to get hurt again.  God came back stronger “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”  (Proverbs 3:5-6)
            “Okay God, I will try.”  I know he does not expect me to be some miracle worker.  He knows I will fail at the task of exposing my heart to the people he has put in my life, but I was willing to do my best. 
            It did not occur to me until a few weeks later, why God has asked me to have a vulnerable heart, where there are no walls.  He has called us into relationships.  Not just with him, but also with the people he has placed into our lives.  It isn’t a good idea to let anybody in whenever they feel like it.  Your soul should be locked into God’s, but it means that when you are in need of godly counsel, or are giving counsel, that you need to open up your heart. 
            God ended up answering my deep prayers for someone to see my pain, but it wasn’t until I opened up and admitted to friends that I was struggling.  It wasn’t easy to admit things that had happened.  I wanted to run and hide, partially because it was painful, but more than anything I was scared that my friends would take these intimate details and use them against me.
            Vulnerability is a scary thing.  So often there is an emphasis on this world to act tough.  You hear things like “Real men don’t cry,”  “Cowgirls don’t cry,”  “Man up,” or even “Don’t be such a baby.”  However, I don’t think that is true.  I think it takes a truly strong person to show their emotions, because in that moment you are putting everything on the line, and saying “I’m human, I don’t have it all together.” 
            The good news is God doesn’t expect us to have it all together.  He wants us to come to him weary, and cry in his arms, so that he can renew our strength.  It doesn’t matter how well you fool others, you cannot fool God.  That amazes me, and is another lesson entirely, but it also amazes me how God has set up our relationships here on earth. 
            Jesus calls us his friends (John 15:14-15).  We are called to love one another as Jesus has loved us (John 13:34).  If we are involved in godly friendships we should be vulnerable.  We should be able to cry, and pray over each other.  We are not perfect, and we won’t become perfect until we are in Heaven with Christ.  We will hurt each other in this life, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.  That does not give us to go against God’s plan and stay isolated so that we cannot be hurt.  We just end up hurting ourselves when we enter that position. 
            One more thing to consider.  God has commanded us to encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:23-25), and bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).  I know how hard it is to trust when your heart has been trampled on and abused by people you thought you could trust, but God has commanded us to be in relationship. 
           Oh, and as I opened up my heart to my sisters in Christ I started finding healing in it all, and I was able to be ministered into better handling my situation. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. 10For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.  11Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? 12Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.  And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.