Forgiveness

“Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’  And they divided His garments and cast lots.”        

                                                                        Luke 23:34

As Jesus hung on the cross, beaten, bruised, and humiliated, He prayed one thing.  “Forgive them.”  He didn’t hate them, He didn’t wish death upon them; instead He wanted His father, the King of kings and Lord of lords, to forgive them. 

In Jesus’s life he referenced forgiveness.  He told us to love our enemies, and bless those who curse us (Matthew 5:44).  Then He lived it out, while enduring the most painful, humiliating death He could’ve died; and He did it for YOU!

Peter asks in Matthew 18 (verse 21) how many times we should forgive someone who has sinned against us.  Jesus replies “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but seventy times seven.” (verse 22).  Jesus isn’t saying here that we should keep a record, but instead that we should continue to forgive, no matter how many times they have wronged you.

However, forgiveness is not about saying that an act was okay.  I think one of the biggest arguments about forgiveness is that it is letting someone off the hook for something they did.  Forgiveness is simply saying “I am not going to hold a grudge because it is hurting me, and my relationship with God.”  It is all about setting yourself free.  There is punishment to sin, and if a crime was committed, prosecution needs to take place, but you can forgive what happened, and still go down that road. 

This lesson has been hard for me.  Up until a few days ago, I have had a hard time agreeing to let go of my anger that I felt justified to have, because I was never going to get justice from the law.  I learned to stop wishing death upon my enemies, but to pray for them seemed out of the question. 

I didn’t care that I was judging.  God had a comeback for every answer I gave.  

“God, the world says I have every right to be angry!”

“Daughter, you do not belong to this world, you are Mine.”

“God, what they did to me was unforgiveable, I will have no justice.”

“My Daughter, I will avenge you, if only you place it in My hands.”

“God, why are you taking justice from me?”

“Can’t you see?  I am extending my love and mercy to you by asking you to forgive.  I want you to enter into freedom.”

Yet, through it all, I couldn’t forgive.  However after reading a verse about God avenging I did start asking God to soften my heart, and I would highly recommend anyone struggling with having to forgive the unforgiveable to do the same. 

Two months later, after multiple nights of tears, I finally agreed to do the impossible.  I didn’t wish death upon these two people, but I did not want them to be saved, yet God would constantly ask me to pray for them. 

With tears in my eyes, and a shaking hand I wrote out in my prayer journal “Out of obedience Lord, I pray for my attackers.  God, I pray they find you and repent.  I pray they hurt no other women.  God, let them find you, and bless them.”  I didn’t feel bitterness, I didn’t feel anything but the broken pieces of my heart.  But I knew God had heard; and He showered me with His love simply because I was obedient.

You see, as hard as it was, I found freedom in releasing it all over to God.  I didn’t necessarily want to pray for these two people, but I knew that was what God wanted.  I used to not be able to stand the idea of seeing them in Heaven one day, but I have since realized that I don’t deserve Heaven either, so why should I get to decide who gets to go and who doesn’t?

We don’t live on a scale of different levels of sin.  Sin is sin, regardless of if it was a lie, or someone murdered someone.  Jesus died for all of us, and as forgiven people, we need to be forgiving people.  Let Jesus break the chains off your soul, by releasing all the hurt, anger, and unforgiveness to Him, the one who can heal all things.  Decide to be like Jesus in those unspeakable moments and say “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

A verse that I love, that gave me the belief that I could attain this one day was Philippians 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

It took me months to get to this point, don’t beat yourself up if you are not there.  Pray for God to soften your heart, and keep trying until you succeed.  Heart and flesh may fail, but God will never leave you! (Psalm 73:26)