Broken Pieces

So the one thing I rarely do is share my extra writing I do on the side.  However, I wanted to share this poem anyway :)

I call out to you Lord,

Where have you been?

My soul is broken and I can’t find any of the pieces.

People have told me that I am worthless,

They have shown me that they don’t care,

I have been treated like an object,

Were You even there?

I sit here crying,

God, I can’t find peace.

I’m hurt beyond words,

Yet, You say “Come to Me.”

God, I want to know You better.

There has to be a way to understand,

That everything I went through,

You have greater plans.

So I call out saying,

“God fix this broken mess.”

I know You are Sovereign,

I know You promise so much more than this,

So I will choose to say “Yes.”

Even when things go amiss.

I don’t know where I’m going,

I cannot see what tomorrow brings.

But I know You are faithful,

So I will choose to sing.

God, I don’t have all the pieces,

Teach me to look inside.

To see what is broken,

And all that Satan tried to hide.

Teach me to let go,

And let You catch me if I fall.

I know in my strength I fail,

But in Yours I stand tall.

I love You God,

Please hold me close.

Teach me Your ways,

And protect me from foes.

I can see now,

That as painful as it has been.

Regardless of the past,

You always win.

You have my heart Jesus,

Please keep it safe.

It’s been torn to pieces,

But now it’s in the right place. 

Lesson from my Devotion

            I opened up my Princess Warrior devotion today.  Through my tears I just wanted to know that God was hearing me because I have been feeling all He cares about these days are His agenda, and not my feelings.  So as I randomly opened the devotion, this is what I got:

                        I will not waste your pain, My beloved.  I will use every tear you have cried to put a passion in your heart to do something great for My Kingdom.  You can find comfort in your darkest hour by praising Me through the painful place you’re in.  You will not remain in this painful place for long, My love.  Soon you will see that, through it all, I carved something in your character that will draw you and others closer to Me.  You are my precious Princess, and I will shake the earth if that is what it takes to see you chains fall to the ground. 

Love,

You Lord who feels your pain.

To me, this just filled me with such peace.  Yeah, I still have some tears wanting to escape as I write this very post.  That’s okay, because tears are one of God’s ways to cleanse us I believe.  What is important is that through this I really just see one thing.  God reminding me that He is faithful.  Even when we don’t feel like it.  Even when all we can see is a mess, God is still standing there saying “I’ve got all this under control.  Satan has already lost”.  We go into battles claiming victory, not to win it. 

            Worship through singing has always been a dear thing to me.  I connect to music.  But outside of that, most of my prayers are that God would be the light within me.  That people would see my life and proclaim HIS faithfulness.  That I could draw people to him.  So when I saw the verse on the next page I knew, God had not forgotten me. 

            “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see what he has done and be amazed.  The will put their trust in the Lord”  Psalm 40:3 NLT

           

            I hurt, and I have no problem admitting it to God.  What I want to remind you of is this.  Even though I have a close relationship with God, and I can feel Him all the time, sometimes I still lose sight of what He is doing.  Sometimes I still need Him to reach through my self-centered perspective with His divine one. 

            Sometimes there is pain in life.  We cannot avoid it while we are here on the earth.  And while God doesn’t want us to hurt, He never promised we wouldn’t.  He just promised He would be there, that He would comfort.  He will not break a bruised reed or snuff out the smoldering wick (Isaiah 42:3).  Instead He provides us with a holy rest (Matthew 11:28-30).  All we can do sometimes is lean into that.  He desires to see all our chains broken.  Jesus quotes Isaiah 61:1-3 as he starts his ministry. 

            “1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”

            This was his mission.  Yes, it was also to die for the sins of the world, but in doing that He opened up the opportunity for us to have healing in our lives.  Reach out to Jesus, let Him comfort you.  He does desire to see all your chains broken.  

There is power in the name of Jesus.  There is power in the name of Jesus.  There is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain.  Break every chain.  Break every chain!